Renewed Passion

It is amazing how much better you feel physically, emotionally and even spiritually after a good night's sleep. I still didn't want to get out of bed this morning, but it was REALLY cold in our room. Getting the heat fixed would probably help that little problem.

God is so good! The past few years have been a great struggle for me, knowing that my relationship with Him was not where it should be-not even where it used to be. I never want to be one of those "used-to-be" Christians, but I didn't know how to get back to where I was and grow from there. Discouragement and depression are very difficult monsters to fight, especially on your own.

Years ago I had those same struggles. I came to the point where I realized I couldn't force growth, so I started praying and asking God to give me a passion for Him and His Word that was beyond anything I could manufacture on my own. After praying that every day for almost two years, I looked back and realized that he had done it. He had given me that passion, and it happened while I was not paying attention. When you live like that with the Lord, and then feel you've lost it, the discouragement is great.

Last fall I decided that the only way to get back on track was to go back to the last place I knew where God was. I started praying that prayer again. Before Christmas, breakthroughs started happening. I could see where God was breaking down walls of defense that I had been unwilling to acknowledge. Fear is also a pretty big monster.

This week, finally, I feel free from so much of that garbage. The love that I feel, the passion for people to know and love the Lord, is not for the people I have asked God to help me love (not that they are not important). It's just that I had an idea in my head of what I was supposed to do, who I was supposed to be focused on, and where I should be spending my energy. The good thing is, God knows what parts of our prayers should be honored, and which don't fit His purposes. He does renew passion and spiritual ferver, and He gives us hearts that fit his purposes and where He wants to use us. I can't wait to see what happens next!