What is "Real"?

We hear so much, especially in Christian circles, about "real relationships". Everybody says they want them, many struggle to define them, and often, if we're honest, we are scared to death of them. Most people that I know think that the key to real relationships is to be able to share everything that is on your heart and mind with someone. The thing is, for some people, that's really easy to do with anyone anytime. For others, talking about the things inside of them is very difficult, even with people they are very close to.

I have come to realize over the past few months that real relationships are much more dependent on our ability to care about others, rather than it is on their willingness to care about us. There is a poem I have always loved called, "Will You Be My Friend", and one line says, "I talk about myself when I am afraid." I am one of those people that finds it fairly easy to be open & honest about my "stuff". The thing is, talking about me protects me from having to care about others, to let them have a space in my heart. That way, when they leave or turn their backs, the pain will not be so great. They will not have had ownership on any part of me.

The Lord has put a couple of people in my life that have stretched me in this area, who have snuck past that thick wall around my heart. He has also moved us into a small group of people that puts me at risk for allowing even more people past that wall. To be completely honest, I am petrified of taking that step. But I can see how God has begun to heal hurts from the past in preparation for what He is getting ready to do. Although I thought I understood real relationship, and have had glimpses of it in the past, I think the Lord is getting ready to show me by experience what that really means. And while it is a frightening prospect, it is a gift of opportunity that I am eager to grasp.