Kathy Troccoli is one of my favorite Christian women ever. She's one of those people I would love to have lunch with sometime just to soak up some of what she has learned in her walk with the Lord. My favorite song she sings is an old one, but it's one that I could sing in total truth. Well, if I could carry a tune in a bucket I could sing it, but you know what I mean. Anyway, it's called "Break My Heart", and the lyrics are as follows:
I've known laughter, days of fun,
Had many hours in the sun,
Been to many mountains, walked along the ocean shores.
I've seen rainbows fill the sky,
Counted stars on summer nights.
Oh, so many moments that have filled my soul with joy.
CHORUS
But, it's been the rain, i'ts been the storms
It's been the days when I've been worn
That I have found You, Lord,
That I have found You, Father.
It's in the pain that I have grown
Through all the sorrow I have known
But, if that's what it takes for You to lead me this far
Go ahead and break my heart.
I have felt the winter snow,
Seen the beauty of a rose,
Sat by many fires and enjoyed the warmth of friends.
I've known love and it's embrace,
Have felt the wind against my face,
Watched the moon at midnight shine upon a sleeping world.
I love this song because I literally have seen all of those places. I've experienced all of those things. And the Lord has shown Himself to me in all of them. But, as I look back over my life, I realize that it truly has been in the painful, doubt-filled, questioning times that I have grown the most. This is where I have learned to trust Him with what really matters, with what I don't understand, and with what rests in the deepest parts of me that no one else ever sees.
Tonight as I read in Amos, the Lord reminded me of a verse He had shown me a few years ago. Amos 4:13 says, "He who forms the mountains, creates the wind, and reveals His thoughts to man, He who turns the dawn to darkness, and treads the high places of the earth-the Lord God Almighty is His name."
Wow! He who made all those places & things I have seen & experienced, who forms mountains, creates wind, keeps the world spinning and holds time in His hands actually cares enough to reveal His thoughts to man. To me. This is something that is so hard to wrap my brain around. I don't deserve anything He has given me. Even less do I deserve to be one with whom He would share his thoughts. But I am. And so are you.
In 2011 our church will be reading the Bible through chronologically together. This may seem like a daunting task, and it may be tempting, or even easy, to give up. After all, we are busy people. Surely God understands that, right? He couldn't possibly expect us to give up 20-30 minutes of TV, movies, internet, shopping, golfing, fishing, sports, a good novel, etc. each day to read a book that someone else will spoon feed us in an hour on Sunday morning, right? But wait. What if this isn't for His benefit? What if it is for ours? Think about what He could do in & through us if we really grasped and started living out His thoughts. The ones He has already revealed to us. What if we really, truly grasped what a privilege it is that He gave this Word to us? What would that do for our families, friends, neighbors, co-workers, communities and our world? We hold in our hands the revealed Word of the Lord God Almighty! Do you get how huge this is? Will you commit to making reading it a priority in this next year? This is not just about gaining knowledge for knowledge's sake. It's about knowing Him better, His heart, His character & His will. Will you open your heart to allow it to change you from the inside out, to transform your thoughts, attitudes & actions, to make you more like Him, and to move you out into the world as a powerful force for His Kingdom? Grab a Bible, a notebook, a pen & a friend (for you will need help & encouragement to stay faithful) and dive headfirst into the revealed Word of the King of Kings.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Warming the Bench
Today was a really bad day. Not in what we did. Ian had a great interview in Memphis & will find out in a few days if he gets to go to Europe next summer. Lynnea had an all day basketball tournament, her first on the team, so we spent the rest of the day when we weren't in Memphis at their school. No, it was just an emotionally bad day. You know, most days it doesn't bother me so much that I don't fit. I've learned over the years to protect that part of my heart. But, today was hard. And I was crabby & didn't handle it well. But, as is so often the case, one of my children gave me an attitude adjustment without even realizing it.
Lynnea has never played basketball in her life, she's only in 6th grade, and she's very small for her age. She's a spitfire, though, and she made the middle school team. She's on the JV team, so for the tournament today, she spent 4 of the 5 games on the bench. She had a great attitude all day, did her best during the game the JV-ers played, and encouraged the rest of her teammates. After the tournament I drove her the 40 minutes to Humboldt for a birthday party. Throughout the day we had talked some, and as we drove I asked her again what kinds of things the coach told them after the games. They had lost all but one game, so their coach was understandably not very happy. Lynnea said that there were times where they had to go outside & run. All of them. Whether they had played that game or not. She accepted that without any complaints.
And then she began telling me what the coach had said. In Lynnea's words, it was things like: "She said we needed to pass the ball more." "We didn't play our positions." "We needed to stay between the other team & the basket better." And so on. Even though she had sat on the bench most of the time, she took ownership of everything the coach had said. She plans to work on every single thing in order to make her game & the team better.
As someone who spends most of my time sitting on the bench, I can & should learn a lot from my daughter's attitude. This bench-warming time is when I can learn from the good & bad things others do in the game, keep a steady intake of advice from the coach, and be thankful for & give my best effort when I'm allowed in the game, even if just for a few minutes. My life verse is Phil. 3:16- "But let us live up to what we have already attained." God doesn't expect me to do the things I haven't learned yet, but He does expect obedience in the things I do know. And as I learn more, I am expected to put those things into practice. As I continue to grow in my faith, my opportunities to get in the game will increase. Faithfulness in those things will result in even more playing time. It is extremely humbling that my 11 year old gets it, yet it's so hard for me to remember sometimes. I'm hopeful that one day I will consistently be a starting player, but in the meantime I pray that the Lord would continue to give me a humble, teachable, faithful heart to do my best in the waiting.
Lynnea has never played basketball in her life, she's only in 6th grade, and she's very small for her age. She's a spitfire, though, and she made the middle school team. She's on the JV team, so for the tournament today, she spent 4 of the 5 games on the bench. She had a great attitude all day, did her best during the game the JV-ers played, and encouraged the rest of her teammates. After the tournament I drove her the 40 minutes to Humboldt for a birthday party. Throughout the day we had talked some, and as we drove I asked her again what kinds of things the coach told them after the games. They had lost all but one game, so their coach was understandably not very happy. Lynnea said that there were times where they had to go outside & run. All of them. Whether they had played that game or not. She accepted that without any complaints.
And then she began telling me what the coach had said. In Lynnea's words, it was things like: "She said we needed to pass the ball more." "We didn't play our positions." "We needed to stay between the other team & the basket better." And so on. Even though she had sat on the bench most of the time, she took ownership of everything the coach had said. She plans to work on every single thing in order to make her game & the team better.
As someone who spends most of my time sitting on the bench, I can & should learn a lot from my daughter's attitude. This bench-warming time is when I can learn from the good & bad things others do in the game, keep a steady intake of advice from the coach, and be thankful for & give my best effort when I'm allowed in the game, even if just for a few minutes. My life verse is Phil. 3:16- "But let us live up to what we have already attained." God doesn't expect me to do the things I haven't learned yet, but He does expect obedience in the things I do know. And as I learn more, I am expected to put those things into practice. As I continue to grow in my faith, my opportunities to get in the game will increase. Faithfulness in those things will result in even more playing time. It is extremely humbling that my 11 year old gets it, yet it's so hard for me to remember sometimes. I'm hopeful that one day I will consistently be a starting player, but in the meantime I pray that the Lord would continue to give me a humble, teachable, faithful heart to do my best in the waiting.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
10 People
Earlier this week my kids were having a conversation about the end of the world as we know it. I think maybe Mark let them watch too much of "The Colony". Anyway, their question was, if something happened & you were the last person on earth, what 10 people would you choose to have with you? The only rule was that they could not be in your family.
I started thinking about my answer to that question, and there were a few things that were very interesting to me. One was that I knew immediately where I would want to live if there were only me & ten other people left on earth. Not that that was surprising, but I realized that the where I want to be now has changed significantly from what it used to be. Now, knowing that I am supposed to be doing whatever I can to introduce people to Christ, and I have an assurance of where He most wants me invested in that, my "place" has changed from a couple of years ago. But, if that mission was removed because all the people were gone, I would live in my other favorite place. Not earth shattering, but interesting to me all the same.
Then I thought about how hard it actually was to think about not choosing family members. Obviously this is hard with immediate family, both sets of parents, and others that we are closest to. But it was also very hard to think about not choosing extended family, even those I don't have opportunity to have close relationships with right now. It hit me that this feeling is very similar to that of not wanting anyone I love to die without knowing Christ.
The third thing I noticed was that, considering the rule that I couldn't choose family members was in place, it was surprisingly easy to choose 10 people. In fact, it was probably less than 10 minutes before the decision was made. It made me realize the value of having those people in whose love I can trust and who I would want with me no matter what.
The most thought-provoking thing about the whole conversation was the answers the kids gave. While I was thinking through all of my relationships, they were naming off their 10 people. Ian & Lynnea both named a couple of friends. But the rest of their answers included the following: a farmer, a cook, a mechanic, a teacher, a gas manufacturer, a pilot, a pastor and a locksmith. So, I started wondering. When do we get to the point where our relationships are more important than having our needs met. Or, is there not a point when that happens, but rather, personalities who prefer one or the other. Or, are my kids better at knowing the wisest choices in a time of need than I am? What do you think? And how would you answer that question? Who would be your 10?
I started thinking about my answer to that question, and there were a few things that were very interesting to me. One was that I knew immediately where I would want to live if there were only me & ten other people left on earth. Not that that was surprising, but I realized that the where I want to be now has changed significantly from what it used to be. Now, knowing that I am supposed to be doing whatever I can to introduce people to Christ, and I have an assurance of where He most wants me invested in that, my "place" has changed from a couple of years ago. But, if that mission was removed because all the people were gone, I would live in my other favorite place. Not earth shattering, but interesting to me all the same.
Then I thought about how hard it actually was to think about not choosing family members. Obviously this is hard with immediate family, both sets of parents, and others that we are closest to. But it was also very hard to think about not choosing extended family, even those I don't have opportunity to have close relationships with right now. It hit me that this feeling is very similar to that of not wanting anyone I love to die without knowing Christ.
The third thing I noticed was that, considering the rule that I couldn't choose family members was in place, it was surprisingly easy to choose 10 people. In fact, it was probably less than 10 minutes before the decision was made. It made me realize the value of having those people in whose love I can trust and who I would want with me no matter what.
The most thought-provoking thing about the whole conversation was the answers the kids gave. While I was thinking through all of my relationships, they were naming off their 10 people. Ian & Lynnea both named a couple of friends. But the rest of their answers included the following: a farmer, a cook, a mechanic, a teacher, a gas manufacturer, a pilot, a pastor and a locksmith. So, I started wondering. When do we get to the point where our relationships are more important than having our needs met. Or, is there not a point when that happens, but rather, personalities who prefer one or the other. Or, are my kids better at knowing the wisest choices in a time of need than I am? What do you think? And how would you answer that question? Who would be your 10?
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
The Fragrance of Christ
Recently I read a book that we are now just beginning in our ladies Bible study called "What's Your God Language?" It discusses 9 different spiritual temperaments, one of which is the Sensate, or someone who connects with God best through their senses. Before reading this book, I had never put much thought into how our senses are used for anything other than daily functioning.
As I have pondered this over the past few weeks, I have noticed afresh how many times things I see, hear, smell, touch & taste remind me of Albania. A building with an old door, a funny traffic moment, the scent of the fruit at the entrance of a store, the fabric of a pillow that feels like the couch where I sat to do my quiet time in "our" apartment, a small piece of grilled steak with a certain seasoning...and I could go on. There are so many times during a day that something grabs my attention and brings me back there again.
This morning as I drove to the church office, the exhaust of the truck in front of me transported me to a Tirana street, and also caused me to start thinking about how powerful our sense of smell can be.
2 Corinthians 2:14-16 says, "But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To the one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life. And who is equal to such a task?"
If the smells around us can so powerfully affect our senses, than the comparison of us to the fragrance of Christ is infinitely full of meaning. I want to live my life in such a way that those around me, whether briefly or in a close relationship, can smell Christ in me. If it is the fragrance of life to them, we can be an encouragement to each other. If it is the smell of death, may I be sensitive to their feelings and needs while standing strong on the truth of His character and purpose. I have no control over the response of others to Christ, but I do pray that whenever they respond to me, it is actually Christ in me that they are responding to. And I pray that my words and actions will be a fragrance and not a stench to my Lord or anyone else.
As I have pondered this over the past few weeks, I have noticed afresh how many times things I see, hear, smell, touch & taste remind me of Albania. A building with an old door, a funny traffic moment, the scent of the fruit at the entrance of a store, the fabric of a pillow that feels like the couch where I sat to do my quiet time in "our" apartment, a small piece of grilled steak with a certain seasoning...and I could go on. There are so many times during a day that something grabs my attention and brings me back there again.
This morning as I drove to the church office, the exhaust of the truck in front of me transported me to a Tirana street, and also caused me to start thinking about how powerful our sense of smell can be.
2 Corinthians 2:14-16 says, "But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To the one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life. And who is equal to such a task?"
If the smells around us can so powerfully affect our senses, than the comparison of us to the fragrance of Christ is infinitely full of meaning. I want to live my life in such a way that those around me, whether briefly or in a close relationship, can smell Christ in me. If it is the fragrance of life to them, we can be an encouragement to each other. If it is the smell of death, may I be sensitive to their feelings and needs while standing strong on the truth of His character and purpose. I have no control over the response of others to Christ, but I do pray that whenever they respond to me, it is actually Christ in me that they are responding to. And I pray that my words and actions will be a fragrance and not a stench to my Lord or anyone else.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
"Why do you love Albania?"
I have a tendency to be pretty open about my thoughts & feelings, unless they are just too personal to put into words. Those are the kinds I've had the past few months, which is why there have been no new posts on here. Last night, though, while chatting with a friend on Facebook, I felt compelled to share why I love Albania so much. I have been asked that question by Americans and/or missionaries before, but never by an Albanian. I was extremely humbled and motivated by this young man's response to my answer. It made me realize again what a gift God has given me by allowing me to be a part of what He is doing there.
For those of you who don't know anything about Albania, it is a small country in Europe just north of Greece and across the Adriatic Sea from the boot heel of Italy.
It is a beautiful, mountainous country with a lot of farming and fishing. Most of the population is in or near the capital, Tirana. The Albanian language is Shqip (Sh-cheap). The people are beautiful, hardworking and very hospitable.
One of the things I love the most about Albania is that it is such a relational culture. Family and friends are a priority. Meals are an event that could last hours. They are much more concerned about people than money and things. They make the most of what they have and share freely with others.
I am not a big city person at all, but I feel totally comfortable in Tirana. The traffic is crazy & dangerous if you're not careful, but it gets more funny than scary the more times I go. Even as a woman, I have never been afraid to walk around at any time, even alone. On my second trip I even managed to buy a watermelon from a man who didn't speak a word of English all by myself. That was a proud moment :)
Another thing I like is that normal life carries on regardless of how comfortable people feel. On our last trip, Mark & I had set aside a couple of hours to walk around the city by ourselves so I could see how much I could remember and show him places that had memories for me. When we woke up that morning, it was raining. Cindy called to ask if we wanted to stop by & get some umbrellas. In America, the assumption would have been that we would choose not to go. In Albania, we were offered umbrellas because the assumption was that we would go anyway. The experience together was what mattered, not whether it was a sunny, 75 degree day and we felt totally comfortable.
The biggest thing I love about Albania, though, is the opportunity to watch the way God is moving. Their borders have only been open since 1997, and the gospel is beginning to take root and grow. There are not many men who are following the Lord, but I have been blessed to see many women & children in the churches who are learning and growing in their faith. I look at these young boys and realize that the first generation of Christian men is being raised up right now. These boys will be the first Christ-following husbands, fathers, pastors, missionaries & leaders in their families. They will be the ones God uses to turn their country to Him. This is a humbling thought that carries a huge weight of responsibility for those charged with discipling them.
It is also amazing to think of how the Lord will be able to use Albanians in building His Kingdom. If people in a culture that understands & values relationship the way they do can finally grasp that the God of the universe created them and desires a personal relationship with them, they would be able to model that relationship in a way that much of the world has never seen. As God gets ahold of the hearts of these beautiful people, the gospel could explode & change the whole world from this little, mainly unnoticed country. Already they are sending out their first missionaries to neighboring countries and even to America. I believe in His work there so much that it is truly worth any sacrifice I would have to make in order to be a part of it.
The needs in Albania are great. Millions of people have never even heard the gospel or had the opportunity to respond to Christ themselves. This is not a country that is well known or talked about much. Many missionaries have been serving for years without a lot of support or encouragement. They need to hear that what they are doing is vital, the lives they are touching are important, and that people are praying for them and lifting them up when they get tired. They need Christians who will uplift and encourage them as they serve tirelessly without backup or help. If you are reading this, you can be involved in reaching Albania for Christ. Let me know if you want to help prayerfully or financially, and I will hook you up with people who would faithfully use your help with integrity and purpose.
For those of you who don't know anything about Albania, it is a small country in Europe just north of Greece and across the Adriatic Sea from the boot heel of Italy.
It is a beautiful, mountainous country with a lot of farming and fishing. Most of the population is in or near the capital, Tirana. The Albanian language is Shqip (Sh-cheap). The people are beautiful, hardworking and very hospitable.
One of the things I love the most about Albania is that it is such a relational culture. Family and friends are a priority. Meals are an event that could last hours. They are much more concerned about people than money and things. They make the most of what they have and share freely with others.
I am not a big city person at all, but I feel totally comfortable in Tirana. The traffic is crazy & dangerous if you're not careful, but it gets more funny than scary the more times I go. Even as a woman, I have never been afraid to walk around at any time, even alone. On my second trip I even managed to buy a watermelon from a man who didn't speak a word of English all by myself. That was a proud moment :)
Another thing I like is that normal life carries on regardless of how comfortable people feel. On our last trip, Mark & I had set aside a couple of hours to walk around the city by ourselves so I could see how much I could remember and show him places that had memories for me. When we woke up that morning, it was raining. Cindy called to ask if we wanted to stop by & get some umbrellas. In America, the assumption would have been that we would choose not to go. In Albania, we were offered umbrellas because the assumption was that we would go anyway. The experience together was what mattered, not whether it was a sunny, 75 degree day and we felt totally comfortable.
The biggest thing I love about Albania, though, is the opportunity to watch the way God is moving. Their borders have only been open since 1997, and the gospel is beginning to take root and grow. There are not many men who are following the Lord, but I have been blessed to see many women & children in the churches who are learning and growing in their faith. I look at these young boys and realize that the first generation of Christian men is being raised up right now. These boys will be the first Christ-following husbands, fathers, pastors, missionaries & leaders in their families. They will be the ones God uses to turn their country to Him. This is a humbling thought that carries a huge weight of responsibility for those charged with discipling them.
It is also amazing to think of how the Lord will be able to use Albanians in building His Kingdom. If people in a culture that understands & values relationship the way they do can finally grasp that the God of the universe created them and desires a personal relationship with them, they would be able to model that relationship in a way that much of the world has never seen. As God gets ahold of the hearts of these beautiful people, the gospel could explode & change the whole world from this little, mainly unnoticed country. Already they are sending out their first missionaries to neighboring countries and even to America. I believe in His work there so much that it is truly worth any sacrifice I would have to make in order to be a part of it.
The needs in Albania are great. Millions of people have never even heard the gospel or had the opportunity to respond to Christ themselves. This is not a country that is well known or talked about much. Many missionaries have been serving for years without a lot of support or encouragement. They need to hear that what they are doing is vital, the lives they are touching are important, and that people are praying for them and lifting them up when they get tired. They need Christians who will uplift and encourage them as they serve tirelessly without backup or help. If you are reading this, you can be involved in reaching Albania for Christ. Let me know if you want to help prayerfully or financially, and I will hook you up with people who would faithfully use your help with integrity and purpose.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Not Enough Room in the World
Today I have been meditating on the last verse in John's gospel (21:25), "Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written." John wrote that not long after Jesus left the earth. He is still doing miracles and changing lives today and will continue to do so. If the world couldn't hold the stories 2000 years ago, imagine how much room it would take to hold the rest of His story.
As someone who loves God's Word, loves to read it and discover new things and loves to teach it to others, I know the value and importance of the Bible. But I also know that there are many people who would never pick up a Bible and read the stories written there-not on their own; not where they are in life. Most of those same people, though, would be willing to listen to our stories. Their lives could and would be impacted in real, powerful ways if we were willing to share how Jesus has and is working in our lives. If we were willing to share our sins & struggles, our stories of forgiveness and redemption, our process of being made more like Christ-both the victories and the heartaches-the Jesus who is just a story in an old book to them would suddenly become a real, active, life-changing God who has relationship and eternity to offer to them as well.
Even if you don't feel your story would ever be worth writing down, it may be life-changing for someone who feels the same way about theirs. As a child of God, saved by the blood of Jesus Christ, you will never know the full impact your life can have on the world. Will you truly live your story-His story-in your life so that others can see you have a story to tell? There may not be room in the world to hold all of His stories, but there is room in eternity for all who hear them and believe on Him. Share yours today.
As someone who loves God's Word, loves to read it and discover new things and loves to teach it to others, I know the value and importance of the Bible. But I also know that there are many people who would never pick up a Bible and read the stories written there-not on their own; not where they are in life. Most of those same people, though, would be willing to listen to our stories. Their lives could and would be impacted in real, powerful ways if we were willing to share how Jesus has and is working in our lives. If we were willing to share our sins & struggles, our stories of forgiveness and redemption, our process of being made more like Christ-both the victories and the heartaches-the Jesus who is just a story in an old book to them would suddenly become a real, active, life-changing God who has relationship and eternity to offer to them as well.
Even if you don't feel your story would ever be worth writing down, it may be life-changing for someone who feels the same way about theirs. As a child of God, saved by the blood of Jesus Christ, you will never know the full impact your life can have on the world. Will you truly live your story-His story-in your life so that others can see you have a story to tell? There may not be room in the world to hold all of His stories, but there is room in eternity for all who hear them and believe on Him. Share yours today.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Walking in Faith
My friend, Sue Prince, wrote an interesting blog post today. I've been thinking since I read it about what it means to "walk in faith". The Bible does speak many times about walking in faith, but it also speaks of the walk of faith. It seems to me that it is an argument of semantics. Is our walk a verb or a noun? I think there is Biblical evidence that it is both. In 3 John 1:3, it is a verb: "It gave me great joy to have some brothers come and tell about your faithfulness to the truth and how you continue to walk in the truth." And in Psalm 101:6, it is a noun: "My eyes will be on the faithful in the land, that they may dwell with me; he whose walk is blameless will minister to me."
So what does it mean when people talk about a "leap of faith", and is this an indication of fear that the Lord will not follow through or an excuse not to walk with Him? Personally, I don't think so. When I see the term "leap of faith", I think of something extremely exciting, something that gets your blood pumping more than just the normal, everyday walking with the Lord. It's when He is giving you an opportunity to do something where you know you will be completely out of control and totally dependent on Him. While we are supposed to live in a state of total dependence, there are times when we feel it on a higher level than others. There isn't a question of whether or not the Lord is faithful or will catch or carry us. There is just a higher level of excitement about what He is about to do. And yes, with that excitement there may be more fear of the unknown, but it is an excited fear rather than a fear that holds us back from action.
In looking at our walk as a noun, it is a thing we are a part of rather than an action we do. The walk of faith is both, ironically. But when we look at it as our walk (noun), it is a thing born of relationship, our state of being with God all the time. Sometimes it is slower, sometimes faster, sometimes more fun or exciting, and sometimes sorrowful, but I believe that during that walk, the Lord takes joy in everything we do, whether it is jumping, skipping, twirling, dancing or simply stepping.
So what does it mean when people talk about a "leap of faith", and is this an indication of fear that the Lord will not follow through or an excuse not to walk with Him? Personally, I don't think so. When I see the term "leap of faith", I think of something extremely exciting, something that gets your blood pumping more than just the normal, everyday walking with the Lord. It's when He is giving you an opportunity to do something where you know you will be completely out of control and totally dependent on Him. While we are supposed to live in a state of total dependence, there are times when we feel it on a higher level than others. There isn't a question of whether or not the Lord is faithful or will catch or carry us. There is just a higher level of excitement about what He is about to do. And yes, with that excitement there may be more fear of the unknown, but it is an excited fear rather than a fear that holds us back from action.
In looking at our walk as a noun, it is a thing we are a part of rather than an action we do. The walk of faith is both, ironically. But when we look at it as our walk (noun), it is a thing born of relationship, our state of being with God all the time. Sometimes it is slower, sometimes faster, sometimes more fun or exciting, and sometimes sorrowful, but I believe that during that walk, the Lord takes joy in everything we do, whether it is jumping, skipping, twirling, dancing or simply stepping.
Monday, March 8, 2010
What I Learned About The Lord at 14,000 Feet
Just in case you missed it, I got to go skydiving this past weekend. Since everyone is sick of hearing about it, I will stop talking about it. After this post. Because there are many spiritual analogies that have swirled around in my brain since the jump yesterday afternoon. Now, before you say anything, let me start by saying that I know that due to human and/or mechanical failure or negligence (yes, I read the "You-Can't-Sue-Us-For-Any-Reason-Ever-And-Neither-Can-Your-Family-For-A-Thousand-Generations" agreement before signing it), the analogy breaks down at a certain point. But, for the sake of argument, let's just assume that everything goes perfectly and the analogy works. Thanks :)
For obvious reasons, the first many times you skydive, you don't get to just jump on your own. And you don't get a parachute. You get a guy that has a parachute. And hopefully he knows what he's doing. This is not a fun idea for people who feel the need to be in control. I tend to be a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of girl, but, if we are honest, we all have to admit, no matter where we fall on the control freak spectrum, that we like to have some semblance of control over our lives and the things that happen to us. Tandem skydiving is a total giving up of that control. Here's why:
1) You don't get to strap yourself into the harness or onto the person you're jumping with. They buckle & tighten the straps onto you, and eventually onto them. You have to trust that they are doing it right.
2) You don't get to change your mind. You get to choose to sign up, show up and get on the plane, but once you head in that direction, there is no turning back. You are strapped onto this person who is going to jump out of the plane whether you want to or not. You have no choice but to go with them.
3) You don't get the parachute. You can't reach the release even if you know where it is (which I didn't). You don't get to pick when it gets deployed and how high (or low) you'll be when it does.
4) You don't get to steer. Yeah, they let you hold the control straps (or whatever they're called. Experienced skydivers will have to bear with my ignorance), and they show you how to spin in both directions. But, no matter where your hands are, theirs never let go of the controls. You will go where they choose, because they know what they are doing and can override you at any moment.
5) You don't get to pick where you land. No matter how many places may look cool or fun or more appealing to you from 14,000 feet, they know where the target is. That is where they are taking you. Period.
So, I got to the airport and waited for quite a while because they had gotten backed up a bit. After about two hours I met David. This was the guy who was going to have my life in his hands. Literally. Thankfully, I liked him immediately. A lot. He was very calm and reassuring. His instructions were clear, and I knew exactly what he would do and what he expected of me in the plane and in the air. All I had to do was follow his lead, and I was completely assured that everything would be ok. Even when we got to the door, which is when I expected to have a short freak out, I-Don't-Really-Want-To-Do-This moment, I really wasn't scared at all. I trusted this stranger, whom I had known about an hour, completely.
He had me look at the camera, & then he jumped. We fell very fast for 60 seconds. I didn't know until I watched the video later that David was watching an altimeter (sp?) on his wrist so he would know when to pull the chute. The falling part was cool, but after the parachute opened and we were floating, it was the most amazing feeling ever. We were just hanging out above the earth, no one else around, able to see forever, and we could have a conversation as clear as in a quiet room. We spun around a few times and practiced our landing. He made sure that I knew exactly what I needed to know for this next step.
When we landed, he unhooked me and told me I was free to stand up. His job for this jump was done, but I sure hope that if I get to do it again, David will be my partner.
Our walk with the Lord should be very similar to my experience yesterday. We make the first choice to follow, and subsequent choices to obey. Turning back should never be an option. We should be willing to give Him total control. We can trust Him to know where we are going and how we need to get there. We don't need to be distracted by the shiny things that tempt us to head in a different direction. We should be listening for clear instructions for each step and trusting that He will reveal anything else we need to know when we need to know it. And when we land, we will be able to stand up and thank Him for the adventure, knowing that the next one will be even more faith-filled and exciting because He has proven Himself faithful and trustworthy. Man, machines, systems and equipment may fail, yet we trust them everyday as we go about our lives. How much more, then, should we trust our Lord and His Word, which never fail or forsake. Jump!
Thursday, January 14, 2010
The Wonder Years
Tonight I have been on a Wonder Years kick-spending way too much time reading quotes & looking at pictures. In all of that, I have come to the conclusion that every girl (no matter how old) wants to be loved like Kevin loved Winnie. So here's my tribute to the relationship that shaped the way girls who grew up in the 80's dream of being loved. These are quotes by Kevin about Winnie or things that he said to her. Basically, they all say, "I love you."
"All our young lives we search for someone to love, someone who makes us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope all the while wondering if somewhere and somehow there is someone searching for us."
Who could ever forget this scene? I even remember crying with Winnie.
KEVIN: Winnie, you know I don't get you!! One minute you like me, the next you don't. You've been doing this all year. First you kiss me, then you act like you don't like me. If you like me, fine, if you don't, quit acting like it!!
KEVIN: I just have to know if you like me or not. And don't give any of that "like me" like me stuff.
NARRATOR: Well, that was it: a straightforward, face-to-face, yes-or-no question. And I was going to stand there until I got my answer.
WINNIE: I don't know.
KEVIN: "I don't know"! What do you mean you don't know?
WINNIE: I mean I don't know. I really don't know. [On the verge of tears] I wish everyone would just leave me alone. I don't know what I'm doing.
NARRATOR: This was something new. I mean, I always figured girls knew exactly what they wanted. They knew; they had a plan. Or maybe they didn't.
NARRATOR: Maybe they were just as confused as we were. Isn't that great?
NARRATOR: It--it's horrible. They don't know either. That means nobody knows.
KEVIN: You mean you really don't know?
WINNIE: No.
KEVIN: Oh.
KEVIN: Well, I'm sorry.
WINNIE: What for?
KEVIN: I don't know.
NARRATOR: As I stood there that cold night, I realized for the first time in a long time that Winnie and I were feeling the same thing.
"I stood there, my heart in my hand. It was time to give it to it's rightful owner."
"Love makes you do funny things. It makes you proud. It makes you sorry. That night we talked. About life. About our times together. Maybe we weren't the same two kids we had once been. But some things never change. Some things last. And even though I didn't know what was going to happen to us, or where we were going. I just knew I couldn't let her out of my life."
"All our young lives we search for someone to love, someone who makes us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope all the while wondering if somewhere and somehow there is someone searching for us."
Who could ever forget this scene? I even remember crying with Winnie.
KEVIN: Winnie, you know I don't get you!! One minute you like me, the next you don't. You've been doing this all year. First you kiss me, then you act like you don't like me. If you like me, fine, if you don't, quit acting like it!!
KEVIN: I just have to know if you like me or not. And don't give any of that "like me" like me stuff.
NARRATOR: Well, that was it: a straightforward, face-to-face, yes-or-no question. And I was going to stand there until I got my answer.
WINNIE: I don't know.
KEVIN: "I don't know"! What do you mean you don't know?
WINNIE: I mean I don't know. I really don't know. [On the verge of tears] I wish everyone would just leave me alone. I don't know what I'm doing.
NARRATOR: This was something new. I mean, I always figured girls knew exactly what they wanted. They knew; they had a plan. Or maybe they didn't.
NARRATOR: Maybe they were just as confused as we were. Isn't that great?
NARRATOR: It--it's horrible. They don't know either. That means nobody knows.
KEVIN: You mean you really don't know?
WINNIE: No.
KEVIN: Oh.
KEVIN: Well, I'm sorry.
WINNIE: What for?
KEVIN: I don't know.
NARRATOR: As I stood there that cold night, I realized for the first time in a long time that Winnie and I were feeling the same thing.
"I stood there, my heart in my hand. It was time to give it to it's rightful owner."
"Love makes you do funny things. It makes you proud. It makes you sorry. That night we talked. About life. About our times together. Maybe we weren't the same two kids we had once been. But some things never change. Some things last. And even though I didn't know what was going to happen to us, or where we were going. I just knew I couldn't let her out of my life."
"There are things in life that matter, things in the past that can't be denied. Winnie Cooper is part of me, and I am part of her. And for as long as I live, I will never ever let her go."
"Once upon a time there was a girl I knew, who lived across the street. Brown hair, brown eyes. When she smiled, I smiled. When she cried, I cried. Every single thing that ever happened to me that mattered, in some way had to do with her. That day Winnie and I promised each other that no matter what, that we'd always be together. It was a promise full of passion and truth and wisdom. It was the kind of promise that can only come from the hearts of the very young."~The last episode
"Once upon a time there was a girl I knew, who lived across the street. Brown hair, brown eyes. When she smiled, I smiled. When she cried, I cried. Every single thing that ever happened to me that mattered, in some way had to do with her. That day Winnie and I promised each other that no matter what, that we'd always be together. It was a promise full of passion and truth and wisdom. It was the kind of promise that can only come from the hearts of the very young."~The last episode
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