To Be, Or Not To Be, Accountable

Today was a rough day. I needed someone to talk to, so I picked up the phone. As I was talking about my situation, the topic of accountability came up. As the conversation progressed, I realized that we were talking two different languages. My conversation partner thought of accountability as being taken to task for something that we have already done or are in danger of doing. It all had to do with punishment and was a negative idea to her. While I do agree that we need to be held responsible for wrong actions as part of accountability, for me it is so much more than that. True Christian accountability is the idea of others coming alongside you in your walk to help you stay faithful to what is right and away from what is wrong, as well as to help you repent and be restored when you stray away.

Another friend this week mentioned that there are many people in her life aching for discipleship and accountability. While I also agree that this is true, it is something that I hear often, but don't see a lot of evidence of people doing something to make that happen. Here's an excerpt from my e-mail with her, so that I don't have to type those ideas again:

"Here are a few things I think we as Christians need to do in order to see these relationships develop:
1) Recognize the valuable things others have to offer. We have a tendency to judge the speck in another's eye and see the areas where they need to grow over the areas where they are strong. We also forget that it is a valuable thing to learn from where others have fallen or failed and instead use those mistakes as reasons not to ask them to mentor us.

2) Be willing to ask. We have a tendency to wait for leadership in the church to start an official program or come up with a curriculum before we take a step. Mentoring is relational. It doesn't flow naturally out of a program. As we see things in others and their walk with the Lord that we admire or could learn from, we need to be willing to take the step to ask them if they would be interested in developing a mentoring relationship.

3) Recognize that we have things to offer others. As we do with others, we often focus on our own weaknesses and feel completely inadequate to mentor others. We think it takes someone super-spiritual to fill that role. We have to remember that there is always someone behind us and someone ahead of us. If someone is struggling in an area that we have grown in, we need to be willing to offer to come alongside of them. We don't need to be years ahead of them. Much of discipleship and mentoring is learning and growing together.

4) Make it a priority. It is very easy to talk about the need for mentoring/accountability/discipleship, and it sounds good when we recognize that need. The thing is, it's easier to talk about than to actually do. It requires time, effort, a reordering of our priorities, and an intimacy that people say they want, yet they often aren't willing to take that risk. We have to be willing to say no to other things. And we have to be willing to take the first step to make that happen.

I can name at least 5 pairs of people who have begun these types of relationships since the beginning of this year. Some of them have started as a result of relationships begun in a small group. Some of them have called a leader to ask for help in finding someone, but all of them have had to do the asking and take the step of starting those relationships themselves. If we can't take the steps to start it, we will not be able or willing to take the steps to continue it. But it can happen, and it is very valuable when it does."

We live in a sinful world full of temptations that can destroy our lives. In order to stay faithful, we need the encouragement & accountability that real relationships with our Christian brothers and sisters brings. We are charged with protecting & communicating the gospel. Unfortunately, those in the church who have fallen give the rest of us a bad name. We have a big hole to dig out of in this country, and the only way out is to live above reproach and love others as Jesus did. And we need each other to "spur us on to love and good works."