I've been thinking a lot today about the things we choose to forgo or lay aside, and the reasons for those choices. 2008 was a year of laying aside of self for me. Actually that process started in July of 2006, but that's a long story. I have had many desires that I have had to choose to lay aside during this time, and there have been many reasons for them.
One of those reasons is because the Lord wanted something else and made that very clear to me. While I may try to hang on to my desires for a time against His will, I eventually realize that what He has is better, and fighting against Him only hurts our relationship and my situation.
A second reason is that my desire is sinful, and must be turned away from in order to preserve my right standing with the Lord.
A third reason is that my desires contradict those of someone I love. In those cases, I may choose to lay aside what I want in order to make room for something that is important to them. Many people have also done this in return for me, and I know firsthand the blessing it can be on either side.
Another reason is that not everything fits. There is not enough time to do everything we want to do with everyone we want to do it. That's just life. Schedules conflict, and we have to make choices. This usually results in having to make a choice between two very good things, so we still get to do something that we desire, just not everything.
There are probably many other reasons I could list, but for the sake of space, I'll stop with those. That's because I also want to address beliefs. Everybody has deep-seated beliefs that guide their decision-making, their feelings about issues, and the way they look at others. Because I am a Christian, my belief is that the Bible is the infallible Word of God and should guide every thought I think and action I take. It should be the center of my worldview and the source by which I judge the truth, or lack thereof, in the world around me, as well as who or what I choose to support. Obviously, I fail at this many times, but I strive for it regardless.
There should be major differences between desires and beliefs, especially in the life of a Christ-follower. Because we are human, our desires can be good or bad, Godly or fleshly, depending on the state of our heart. If we are firmly rooted in the truth of the Word, though, our beliefs should never change. They should never be yielded to anything, no matter how attractively it is packaged. We should never make the statement, as I heard this month from a well-respected (no longer by me) Christian professor as he tried to justify his support of certain sinful behavior, "It's just a couple small parts of the Bible. We can ignore them and focus on the rest."
There have been times in my life where I have ignored my belief in what I know is truth to feed my own sinful desires, and I know first hand how destructive that is. Thankfully, I have a husband, friends and family who recognize and confront those things and help me get back on the path of truth. Although it is difficult to lay aside my desires, that is something I am willing to do when necessary, especially to preserve my relationship with the Lord and other people. I pray, though, that I will never again lay aside the truth for what feels good to me or to other people.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Sunday, January 11, 2009
25 Random Things about Me
Ok, about 10 of my friends have done this now, so I decided to try it, too. It was a lot harder than I thought it would be, and I'm pretty introspective.
You are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. If you are doing this on Facebook, you can choose to tag people you also want to do this. (Go to "notes" under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)
Here are my 25:
1. My biggest regret is that I never finished my degree.
2. I have pencil lead in my butt from when Fred Knight held his pencil on my chair in the 4th grade.
3. There is nothing in this world (that’s not sinful) that I hate more than football.
4. There’s nothing in this world that I want more than to live in Lander, WY.
5. I am petrified of trains, crickets & the thought of my kids drowning.
6. I left part of my heart in Albania and can’t wait to go back.
7. I wish I could make money with my photography, but I don’t have the confidence to try.
8. I don’t like feet. I mean, I like them for walking, but not looking at them.
9. Two of my favorite things are Albanian pizza and Fanta Exotic.
10. For the first time in 6 years, I have people in my life that I trust enough to get close to, and I am very thankful for that.
11. I have learned that seeing people with God’s eyes is wonderful and painful at the same time.
12. I have been blessed with three really cool kids, and the greatest husband in the world.
13. I really, really, really want to jump out of an airplane-with a parachute.
14. More & more I am realizing that my little sister and I are a lot alike, and I love that we are friends.
15. I am a lot more like my mom than I thought, and that makes me proud.
16. My life verse is Philippians 3:16, and I strive to live up to it every day.
17. I love music. I can memorize songs the first time I hear them, and love to sing them, but only when no one is listening. That is for everyone else’s benefit.
18. I love to do quizzes & take tests about anything. I’m a nerd.
19. I remember really stupid, random trivia because, as my husband says, my brain does not have a flush mechanism.
20. My love language is time, which is difficult for many people to give. My family & God help with this one a lot.
21. I will never be southern, but I am trying very hard to see it as a foreign culture that must be understood in order for me to be effective for the Kingdom. Most of the time, I still fail at this.
22. I make up conversations in my head that I wish I could have with people-for lots of different reasons.
23. I’ve always wished I had great hair. And a smaller nose.
24. I really hate it when people treat me like I can’t do something, or make excuses for why I can’t without even asking first.
25. I love to cook, and it blesses me to make meals that other people enjoy.
You are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. If you are doing this on Facebook, you can choose to tag people you also want to do this. (Go to "notes" under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)
Here are my 25:
1. My biggest regret is that I never finished my degree.
2. I have pencil lead in my butt from when Fred Knight held his pencil on my chair in the 4th grade.
3. There is nothing in this world (that’s not sinful) that I hate more than football.
4. There’s nothing in this world that I want more than to live in Lander, WY.
5. I am petrified of trains, crickets & the thought of my kids drowning.
6. I left part of my heart in Albania and can’t wait to go back.
7. I wish I could make money with my photography, but I don’t have the confidence to try.
8. I don’t like feet. I mean, I like them for walking, but not looking at them.
9. Two of my favorite things are Albanian pizza and Fanta Exotic.
10. For the first time in 6 years, I have people in my life that I trust enough to get close to, and I am very thankful for that.
11. I have learned that seeing people with God’s eyes is wonderful and painful at the same time.
12. I have been blessed with three really cool kids, and the greatest husband in the world.
13. I really, really, really want to jump out of an airplane-with a parachute.
14. More & more I am realizing that my little sister and I are a lot alike, and I love that we are friends.
15. I am a lot more like my mom than I thought, and that makes me proud.
16. My life verse is Philippians 3:16, and I strive to live up to it every day.
17. I love music. I can memorize songs the first time I hear them, and love to sing them, but only when no one is listening. That is for everyone else’s benefit.
18. I love to do quizzes & take tests about anything. I’m a nerd.
19. I remember really stupid, random trivia because, as my husband says, my brain does not have a flush mechanism.
20. My love language is time, which is difficult for many people to give. My family & God help with this one a lot.
21. I will never be southern, but I am trying very hard to see it as a foreign culture that must be understood in order for me to be effective for the Kingdom. Most of the time, I still fail at this.
22. I make up conversations in my head that I wish I could have with people-for lots of different reasons.
23. I’ve always wished I had great hair. And a smaller nose.
24. I really hate it when people treat me like I can’t do something, or make excuses for why I can’t without even asking first.
25. I love to cook, and it blesses me to make meals that other people enjoy.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Real Friends
Quite a few things have happened over the past month or so that have caused me to ponder relationships and the names we call each other, specifically "friend". I live in the south now, and I have realized that people here are quick to jump every time someone needs something, or even if they don't. Having a baby here was a total shock to me. Did you know people actually bring meals to people who have babies? I didn't. When Ian was born, people came to visit and celebrate, not feed us. But that was in Minnesota. When Lynnea was born here, I got in trouble with some people because we were out shopping and weren't home when they tried to bring us supper. It actually offended me, as though they thought that having a baby suddenly rendered me unable to lift a spoon or turn on the oven, or that I had done nothing to plan for this event over the 9 months I had to prepare for the child's arrival. I have since learned that it is one of those cultural things I will just have to accept without understanding. And that is just one example of things that people will do to "help".
Another thing, which is not southern-specific, but a situation you find everywhere, is that people will sit and listen to you talk about yourself all day, but most are barely willing to open up and share even a little bit of their life with you. And that's just if you ask. If you don't ask, they will almost never volunteer anything about themselves.
Frankly, it gets tiring, lonely and depressing to try to have relationships with people when they are one-sided. Relationships are supposed to require something from us. They are supposed to be give and take. When someone only wants to give and listen and support but will not give you the opportunity to do the same in return, they rob you of the joy of being their friend. Which is why I think we throw the word "friend" around too easily. Someone we meet up with in the grocery store, at school or sporting events, or even at church, who will smile and say hi, and sometimes even hug you is not a "friend", they are an acquaintance.
A friend is someone who trusts you and your relationship enough to allow you to help meet their physical, emotional and spiritual needs. They'll share their struggles and joys, and allow you to help and celebrate with them. They will not ask you (even if not in words, but by their actions) to allow them to be a friend to you without allowing you to be one to them, too. So today I am reevaluating my relationships. I will be more careful about the names I give people in my life. Although my list of "friends" has shortened significantly through this process, the value of those who truly are my friends has increased beyond measure. They are the ones who I can walk alongside knowing that we can truly do life together.
Another thing, which is not southern-specific, but a situation you find everywhere, is that people will sit and listen to you talk about yourself all day, but most are barely willing to open up and share even a little bit of their life with you. And that's just if you ask. If you don't ask, they will almost never volunteer anything about themselves.
Frankly, it gets tiring, lonely and depressing to try to have relationships with people when they are one-sided. Relationships are supposed to require something from us. They are supposed to be give and take. When someone only wants to give and listen and support but will not give you the opportunity to do the same in return, they rob you of the joy of being their friend. Which is why I think we throw the word "friend" around too easily. Someone we meet up with in the grocery store, at school or sporting events, or even at church, who will smile and say hi, and sometimes even hug you is not a "friend", they are an acquaintance.
A friend is someone who trusts you and your relationship enough to allow you to help meet their physical, emotional and spiritual needs. They'll share their struggles and joys, and allow you to help and celebrate with them. They will not ask you (even if not in words, but by their actions) to allow them to be a friend to you without allowing you to be one to them, too. So today I am reevaluating my relationships. I will be more careful about the names I give people in my life. Although my list of "friends" has shortened significantly through this process, the value of those who truly are my friends has increased beyond measure. They are the ones who I can walk alongside knowing that we can truly do life together.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
True Community
This morning we had a precious time of testimony during the church service where people could share what they are thankful the Lord has been doing in their lives. I was truly blessed to hear how many of those comments centered around the work that He has done through the people of Northbrook. I have never been part of a church family that so faithfully, lovingly and genuinely lives out their faith in the context of relationship and community. Nothing could be a better witness than when His people live out His Word in a real way, and we get to watch that happening every day.
What saddens me is the people who are introduced to a community like that and leave because of what it requires. True community requires honesty, vulnerability, a laying aside of yourself, a willingness to be held accountable to Biblical standards (even when it's hard), as well as a heart that is open to being confronted with our sin and the changes necessary to be freed from that. We think there is freedom in the ability to choose to do whatever we want, but choosing to do things that contradict what we know is right leaves us in bondage to guilt, shame, anger, broken relationships and other painful consequences of sin. True community hurts for those who are in bondage and helps free them to be who Christ desires and enables us to be. My prayer is that those who claim the name of Christ will be willing to put themselves in community with other believers and reap the benefits that come from struggling through our messes together. Nothing may be harder than true community, but nothing is more worth it, either.
What saddens me is the people who are introduced to a community like that and leave because of what it requires. True community requires honesty, vulnerability, a laying aside of yourself, a willingness to be held accountable to Biblical standards (even when it's hard), as well as a heart that is open to being confronted with our sin and the changes necessary to be freed from that. We think there is freedom in the ability to choose to do whatever we want, but choosing to do things that contradict what we know is right leaves us in bondage to guilt, shame, anger, broken relationships and other painful consequences of sin. True community hurts for those who are in bondage and helps free them to be who Christ desires and enables us to be. My prayer is that those who claim the name of Christ will be willing to put themselves in community with other believers and reap the benefits that come from struggling through our messes together. Nothing may be harder than true community, but nothing is more worth it, either.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Under Construction
There have been many times in my life where the Lord has convicted me of something that needs to be changed or surprised me with a situation I wasn't ready for or allowed me to go through a difficult time in order to learn and grow. In all of that, I have never experience the depth of change, conviction or emotions that I've experienced over the past few weeks.
Those of you who know me know that I would give just about anything to get out of, and far away from, the south forever. This is a place and a culture of people that reminds me constantly in a hundred different ways that I don't fit and never will. As Mark and I have talked through some things over the past couple of weeks, we decided to stay here for a very long time. He loves what he does at Youth Town, values the ministry there, and wants to retire having devoted his entire career to one organization. The reality of that decision took a little while to sink in, but honestly not as long as I expected. Instead, God has used it to begin to change some things in my heart and mind that have needed to be challenged for a long time.
One of the things I have found is that it truly is freeing to a wife when her husband stands up as the spiritual leader and says, "I believe this is where God has lead us and what is best for our family." Mark has the freedom to pursue his goals, even on the hard days, knowing that he is doing what God has called him to do, and without the pressure of me asking him to do something different. That's not an easy change for me to make, but it's easier when I see the weight of trying to balance his desires and what he feels is right with the impossible task of making me happy all the time lifted off of him. That's not a fair expectation, and he shouldn't have to carry it.
Another thing that is freeing is knowing that we are settled in one place. It may not be the place I would have chosen, but it is settled. That allows me the freedom to focus on things without always having the thought in the back of my mind that I may not be able to follow through with commitments or relationships. The trip to Albania is a perfect example of that. I can put 100% into that trip knowing that I really am going to get to go.
The biggest challenge to my thinking has come in the area of relationships. I have always desired to have real, intimate relationships, and at times have been blessed with that. The barriers to those relationships that God has revealed to me in the past couple of weeks have convicted me to the core. I know this is getting long, but bear with me.
The first barrier has been something I have carried my whole life. I have never believed that people could like me. I was miserable growing up because I never felt like I had any real friends. Those feelings have followed me into adulthood. When you spend your life expecting people to not like you, you put up walls of defense around your heart so you don't get your hopes up or get too surprised when they don't.
The second barrier is that I have allowed the treatment and opinions of many people to affect the way I look at everybody. If I am rejected by those who are "from here", than everyone who lives here must surely feel the same way. Again, assumptions that turn into walls.
The third barrier is that I wanted so badly to leave here that I focused on getting us out rather than on making things work here. Why put time & effort into relationships when you plan on leaving them all behind anyway. Then, when you don't put the time and effort in, and the relationships don't happen, it only feeds into the assumptions that nobody likes you and you'll never fit in. Are you starting to see the cycle? I am.
Nobody likes to admit when they're wrong, but I have had to in some pretty big ways. And you know what? It feels good. It feels like a fresh start. It scares me to death. It's a commitment to changing things in my heart and life and attitude and actions that may not be received or reciprocated by those around me. But this isn't about what people think or how they respond. It's about negative, sinful attitudes that I have held onto for too long. Attitudes that keep me from loving others keep me from being right with the Lord, and that is unacceptable to me.
For those of you that have held with me through this long post, thanks for listening. And I welcome the accountability that will be needed as I begin to change outwardly the things that God is changing inwardly. After all, I am still under construction...
Those of you who know me know that I would give just about anything to get out of, and far away from, the south forever. This is a place and a culture of people that reminds me constantly in a hundred different ways that I don't fit and never will. As Mark and I have talked through some things over the past couple of weeks, we decided to stay here for a very long time. He loves what he does at Youth Town, values the ministry there, and wants to retire having devoted his entire career to one organization. The reality of that decision took a little while to sink in, but honestly not as long as I expected. Instead, God has used it to begin to change some things in my heart and mind that have needed to be challenged for a long time.
One of the things I have found is that it truly is freeing to a wife when her husband stands up as the spiritual leader and says, "I believe this is where God has lead us and what is best for our family." Mark has the freedom to pursue his goals, even on the hard days, knowing that he is doing what God has called him to do, and without the pressure of me asking him to do something different. That's not an easy change for me to make, but it's easier when I see the weight of trying to balance his desires and what he feels is right with the impossible task of making me happy all the time lifted off of him. That's not a fair expectation, and he shouldn't have to carry it.
Another thing that is freeing is knowing that we are settled in one place. It may not be the place I would have chosen, but it is settled. That allows me the freedom to focus on things without always having the thought in the back of my mind that I may not be able to follow through with commitments or relationships. The trip to Albania is a perfect example of that. I can put 100% into that trip knowing that I really am going to get to go.
The biggest challenge to my thinking has come in the area of relationships. I have always desired to have real, intimate relationships, and at times have been blessed with that. The barriers to those relationships that God has revealed to me in the past couple of weeks have convicted me to the core. I know this is getting long, but bear with me.
The first barrier has been something I have carried my whole life. I have never believed that people could like me. I was miserable growing up because I never felt like I had any real friends. Those feelings have followed me into adulthood. When you spend your life expecting people to not like you, you put up walls of defense around your heart so you don't get your hopes up or get too surprised when they don't.
The second barrier is that I have allowed the treatment and opinions of many people to affect the way I look at everybody. If I am rejected by those who are "from here", than everyone who lives here must surely feel the same way. Again, assumptions that turn into walls.
The third barrier is that I wanted so badly to leave here that I focused on getting us out rather than on making things work here. Why put time & effort into relationships when you plan on leaving them all behind anyway. Then, when you don't put the time and effort in, and the relationships don't happen, it only feeds into the assumptions that nobody likes you and you'll never fit in. Are you starting to see the cycle? I am.
Nobody likes to admit when they're wrong, but I have had to in some pretty big ways. And you know what? It feels good. It feels like a fresh start. It scares me to death. It's a commitment to changing things in my heart and life and attitude and actions that may not be received or reciprocated by those around me. But this isn't about what people think or how they respond. It's about negative, sinful attitudes that I have held onto for too long. Attitudes that keep me from loving others keep me from being right with the Lord, and that is unacceptable to me.
For those of you that have held with me through this long post, thanks for listening. And I welcome the accountability that will be needed as I begin to change outwardly the things that God is changing inwardly. After all, I am still under construction...
Friday, November 7, 2008
Crazy Weekend
This weekend is a crazy one for us as we are headed in many different directions. Today was supposed to be a day of getting ready for it, but instead I had a really bad migraine. By the time I worked all day, got the oil changed in the van, took the kids for ice cream and went to Walmart, I had had about all I could take. Thankfully, I have a very understanding husband who took care of feeding the kids so I could hole up in a dark room for a while.
Tomorrow daddy & the boys are headed to Nathan Beford Forrest State Park for a hike with the RA's from church. Jadon is so excited he can hardly stand it. He has watched Mark & Ian go on the hikes and campouts for three years, and this is his first chance to go, too. It's fun to watch him as he starts to feel like one of the big boys.
Lynnea and I are heading to Tuscaloosa, AL with Mark's mom and Shari. We'll meet up with some of her teammates for dinner and swimming (not much swimming, coaches. Don't freak out!) Mark & the boys and his dad will join us late Saturday night. EARLY Sunday morning we'll head to Lynnea's meet. She had a rough meet last weekend, so she's hoping to do much better this time. At least she's determined instead of giving up after one not-so-good meet.
We're hoping to get back to town in time for SaLT group Sunday night, although you never know how long meets & awards are gonna go. This will be the third week in a row we've missed church & SaLT, and I really hate that. It makes the disconnected feeling even worse. Next weekend we'll be in Jackson, though, so our Sunday schedule should be normal. I'm glad for that.
Anyway, I know this blog is pointless, but that's what my thoughts are like in the aftermath of a migraine. Let's just hope it stays gone. I'm out of Maxalt.
Tomorrow daddy & the boys are headed to Nathan Beford Forrest State Park for a hike with the RA's from church. Jadon is so excited he can hardly stand it. He has watched Mark & Ian go on the hikes and campouts for three years, and this is his first chance to go, too. It's fun to watch him as he starts to feel like one of the big boys.
Lynnea and I are heading to Tuscaloosa, AL with Mark's mom and Shari. We'll meet up with some of her teammates for dinner and swimming (not much swimming, coaches. Don't freak out!) Mark & the boys and his dad will join us late Saturday night. EARLY Sunday morning we'll head to Lynnea's meet. She had a rough meet last weekend, so she's hoping to do much better this time. At least she's determined instead of giving up after one not-so-good meet.
We're hoping to get back to town in time for SaLT group Sunday night, although you never know how long meets & awards are gonna go. This will be the third week in a row we've missed church & SaLT, and I really hate that. It makes the disconnected feeling even worse. Next weekend we'll be in Jackson, though, so our Sunday schedule should be normal. I'm glad for that.
Anyway, I know this blog is pointless, but that's what my thoughts are like in the aftermath of a migraine. Let's just hope it stays gone. I'm out of Maxalt.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Final Thoughts
As I sit here and listen to John McCain give his concession speech, I feel the need to put down some last thoughts before we put this election behind us. I don't think I am alone in saying I am disappointed but not surprised at the result. As I have prayed through these past few weeks, the passage in 1 Samuel 8 has repeatedly come to my mind. Israel demanded a king, and the Lord assured Samuel that it was not him that the people were rejecting, but the Lord. He warned the people through Samuel of the terrible things this new king would bring upon them, but the people insisted. The Lord said, "Listen to them and give them a king."
Americans have been in the process of rejecting God and removing Him from our institutions, schools, marriages, families and especially our government for years. Yes, God is fully in control. But sometimes He chooses to give us what we ask for and allow us to suffer the consequences for our choices. I believe He has allowed us to have our "king" in the results of this election tonight.
It literally makes me sick to my stomach to think of the road we are about to travel down over the next few years. Many of us may have made a different choice, but as Americans, we suffer the consequences alongside those who made this choice. I wonder, though, how many of those who cast their vote for Obama today, and are celebrating his victory tonight, will stand up for that choice and share in the responsibility of the consequences of his leadership.
Although I disagreed with Bill Clinton ideologically, I could submit to his leadership as the president of my country. That does not seem possible this time. There is much more than an ideological issue with Obama-a deeper spiritual and patriotic issue that goes to the core of who I am and what and Who I believe in. And while I don't believe Obama was rejected for his race by those who opposed him this time, it saddens me that his decisions and leadership as our president will end up hurting race relations in this country and the opportunities for minorities to follow in his footsteps. I go to bed tonight with a heavy heart and a sense of fear and dread for what we as Americans have chosen tonight.
Americans have been in the process of rejecting God and removing Him from our institutions, schools, marriages, families and especially our government for years. Yes, God is fully in control. But sometimes He chooses to give us what we ask for and allow us to suffer the consequences for our choices. I believe He has allowed us to have our "king" in the results of this election tonight.
It literally makes me sick to my stomach to think of the road we are about to travel down over the next few years. Many of us may have made a different choice, but as Americans, we suffer the consequences alongside those who made this choice. I wonder, though, how many of those who cast their vote for Obama today, and are celebrating his victory tonight, will stand up for that choice and share in the responsibility of the consequences of his leadership.
Although I disagreed with Bill Clinton ideologically, I could submit to his leadership as the president of my country. That does not seem possible this time. There is much more than an ideological issue with Obama-a deeper spiritual and patriotic issue that goes to the core of who I am and what and Who I believe in. And while I don't believe Obama was rejected for his race by those who opposed him this time, it saddens me that his decisions and leadership as our president will end up hurting race relations in this country and the opportunities for minorities to follow in his footsteps. I go to bed tonight with a heavy heart and a sense of fear and dread for what we as Americans have chosen tonight.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
The Blessing of Conflict
Today I had a conflict with someone I care about a lot. I said something that hurt her, and she called me on it. The conversation wasn't fun, but it ended well. Even more, it made me even more thankful for her. Rather than getting angry and distancing herself from me, she confronted me and gave me the opportunity to apologize. Because of that, I now know that I need to be even more careful about the things I say and/or write. That's important, because my relationship with her is more important to me than venting my frustration at times.
Unfortunately, we don't have enough people like that in our lives. At least, I know I don't. Too many conflicts are allowed to fester and grow to include every little thing that the other person does until soon everything they do is an offense. When we get to that point, the relationship is so fractured that reconciliation is nearly impossible. Very few people enjoy conflict. I know I don't. But I am thankful for the gift of the process that leads to reconciliation, and for those few who are willing to fight through it to get to the blessing that follows.
Unfortunately, we don't have enough people like that in our lives. At least, I know I don't. Too many conflicts are allowed to fester and grow to include every little thing that the other person does until soon everything they do is an offense. When we get to that point, the relationship is so fractured that reconciliation is nearly impossible. Very few people enjoy conflict. I know I don't. But I am thankful for the gift of the process that leads to reconciliation, and for those few who are willing to fight through it to get to the blessing that follows.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Answering the Tough Question...Finally
I have been asked by a few of my more liberal friends why I am voting for John McCain. I have avoided answering that question because I really didn't think I could do it without being sarcastic and completely inconsiderate of the other side. For weeks now I have considered my answer, and this is my attempt at a fair but kind response.
First of all, I am not a huge John McCain supporter. I disagree with many things on both his policies and his personality. In fact, until he chose Sarah Palin, I was not even remotely excited about this election. To be quite honest, my vote is FOR Sarah Palin and AGAINST Obama, and has very little to do with John McCain.
I know the economy is a huge factor for many people right now, but it is just not that big of an issue for me. Not that I am hiding my head in the sand and pretending that things are good. I just know that markets go up and down all the time. My reality is that we are only 34 years old. We have at least 30 years before we look at retirement, probably closer to 40. The economy will surely go through many ups and downs in that time. Besides, the current legislature and president already screwed it up by passing the bailout bill. And I think we also give the president WAY too much credit for what the economy does or fails to do. Just like we blame him for natural disasters and the choices of evil empires, but I digress.
With that being said, my three main issues in this election are: 1) Abortion. I love and serve a God who is the creator, giver and lover of life. To stand against, or support a candidate who stands against, that precious gift is to stand against God Himself. That is not a choice I am willing to make. Ever.
2) Education. I have three children in the public school system. The nature of Mark's profession pretty much guarantees that we will never be rich enough to afford private school. Besides, I think all the people who have the ability to affect change just giving up and leaving to create their own "country club" schools just guarantees that the public schools will continue their downward spiral. And that is coming froma mother who's children are in, I am convinced, one of the worst public school systems in the country. Sorry, again I digress. I cannot support a candidate who was responsible for doling out hundreds of thousands of dollars to organizations devoted to radically liberalizing our public schools. They get to the kids who have already been convinced by the society they are raised in that they will never be able to achieve anything and turn them against the very people who would love to help lift them up if simply given trust and a chance. I can't take that chance with my kids, or the millions of others out there who don't have any choice but public education.
3) Judicial appointments. Our founding father's created three branches of government for a reason. They intentionally put checks and balances in place so that no one branch would be given, or could assume, too much power. If Barrack Obama is elected president and has the ability to put ultraliberal judges on the Supreme Court and lower courts, we move (as we have already seen from current judges) in the direction of judges legislating from the bench rather than interpreting the law. When we eliminate the checks and balances in our Constitution, we eliminate the need for a constitution at all. Since Supreme Court justices are appinted for life, this is a decision that will affect our children to the third & fourth generations.
My son, Ian, doesn't like it when he has to run killers at soccer practice because another player acted up. We have to remind him repeatedly that soccer is a team sport. When one player makes a mistake, everybody on the team suffers the consequences. This election is the same way. I will go cast my vote for John McCain, but I am more fearful than I have words for that Barrack Obama will be our next president. And because of the choices of some, all of us will have to face the consequences-for generations to come. The nasty side of me comes out sometimes, and I want to say, well, they'll see how misguided they were. But the honest, loving side of me doesn't want anyone to have to suffer the consequences of that choice, whether they were part of making it or not.
I believe, like many other Christians I know and love who truly have a heart for racial reconciliation, that it would be good for America to have a black president. But I also believe that this is not the right one. I believe that he will do so much harm to the America we know and love that it will seriously harm race relations and the chance for another minority leader, one who is well qualified and deserves the chance to lead, to have that chance for a very long time.
We live in a get-rich-quick, fast food, me, me, me society that refuses to look past immediate wants and needs to see the big picture and the responsibility we have in every election to consider how our choices will affect the future and those who come after us. Our country was founded by men who looked to the future for us. I wish that I could say we still had the same vision.
First of all, I am not a huge John McCain supporter. I disagree with many things on both his policies and his personality. In fact, until he chose Sarah Palin, I was not even remotely excited about this election. To be quite honest, my vote is FOR Sarah Palin and AGAINST Obama, and has very little to do with John McCain.
I know the economy is a huge factor for many people right now, but it is just not that big of an issue for me. Not that I am hiding my head in the sand and pretending that things are good. I just know that markets go up and down all the time. My reality is that we are only 34 years old. We have at least 30 years before we look at retirement, probably closer to 40. The economy will surely go through many ups and downs in that time. Besides, the current legislature and president already screwed it up by passing the bailout bill. And I think we also give the president WAY too much credit for what the economy does or fails to do. Just like we blame him for natural disasters and the choices of evil empires, but I digress.
With that being said, my three main issues in this election are: 1) Abortion. I love and serve a God who is the creator, giver and lover of life. To stand against, or support a candidate who stands against, that precious gift is to stand against God Himself. That is not a choice I am willing to make. Ever.
2) Education. I have three children in the public school system. The nature of Mark's profession pretty much guarantees that we will never be rich enough to afford private school. Besides, I think all the people who have the ability to affect change just giving up and leaving to create their own "country club" schools just guarantees that the public schools will continue their downward spiral. And that is coming froma mother who's children are in, I am convinced, one of the worst public school systems in the country. Sorry, again I digress. I cannot support a candidate who was responsible for doling out hundreds of thousands of dollars to organizations devoted to radically liberalizing our public schools. They get to the kids who have already been convinced by the society they are raised in that they will never be able to achieve anything and turn them against the very people who would love to help lift them up if simply given trust and a chance. I can't take that chance with my kids, or the millions of others out there who don't have any choice but public education.
3) Judicial appointments. Our founding father's created three branches of government for a reason. They intentionally put checks and balances in place so that no one branch would be given, or could assume, too much power. If Barrack Obama is elected president and has the ability to put ultraliberal judges on the Supreme Court and lower courts, we move (as we have already seen from current judges) in the direction of judges legislating from the bench rather than interpreting the law. When we eliminate the checks and balances in our Constitution, we eliminate the need for a constitution at all. Since Supreme Court justices are appinted for life, this is a decision that will affect our children to the third & fourth generations.
My son, Ian, doesn't like it when he has to run killers at soccer practice because another player acted up. We have to remind him repeatedly that soccer is a team sport. When one player makes a mistake, everybody on the team suffers the consequences. This election is the same way. I will go cast my vote for John McCain, but I am more fearful than I have words for that Barrack Obama will be our next president. And because of the choices of some, all of us will have to face the consequences-for generations to come. The nasty side of me comes out sometimes, and I want to say, well, they'll see how misguided they were. But the honest, loving side of me doesn't want anyone to have to suffer the consequences of that choice, whether they were part of making it or not.
I believe, like many other Christians I know and love who truly have a heart for racial reconciliation, that it would be good for America to have a black president. But I also believe that this is not the right one. I believe that he will do so much harm to the America we know and love that it will seriously harm race relations and the chance for another minority leader, one who is well qualified and deserves the chance to lead, to have that chance for a very long time.
We live in a get-rich-quick, fast food, me, me, me society that refuses to look past immediate wants and needs to see the big picture and the responsibility we have in every election to consider how our choices will affect the future and those who come after us. Our country was founded by men who looked to the future for us. I wish that I could say we still had the same vision.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
What is "Real"?
We hear so much, especially in Christian circles, about "real relationships". Everybody says they want them, many struggle to define them, and often, if we're honest, we are scared to death of them. Most people that I know think that the key to real relationships is to be able to share everything that is on your heart and mind with someone. The thing is, for some people, that's really easy to do with anyone anytime. For others, talking about the things inside of them is very difficult, even with people they are very close to.
I have come to realize over the past few months that real relationships are much more dependent on our ability to care about others, rather than it is on their willingness to care about us. There is a poem I have always loved called, "Will You Be My Friend", and one line says, "I talk about myself when I am afraid." I am one of those people that finds it fairly easy to be open & honest about my "stuff". The thing is, talking about me protects me from having to care about others, to let them have a space in my heart. That way, when they leave or turn their backs, the pain will not be so great. They will not have had ownership on any part of me.
The Lord has put a couple of people in my life that have stretched me in this area, who have snuck past that thick wall around my heart. He has also moved us into a small group of people that puts me at risk for allowing even more people past that wall. To be completely honest, I am petrified of taking that step. But I can see how God has begun to heal hurts from the past in preparation for what He is getting ready to do. Although I thought I understood real relationship, and have had glimpses of it in the past, I think the Lord is getting ready to show me by experience what that really means. And while it is a frightening prospect, it is a gift of opportunity that I am eager to grasp.
I have come to realize over the past few months that real relationships are much more dependent on our ability to care about others, rather than it is on their willingness to care about us. There is a poem I have always loved called, "Will You Be My Friend", and one line says, "I talk about myself when I am afraid." I am one of those people that finds it fairly easy to be open & honest about my "stuff". The thing is, talking about me protects me from having to care about others, to let them have a space in my heart. That way, when they leave or turn their backs, the pain will not be so great. They will not have had ownership on any part of me.
The Lord has put a couple of people in my life that have stretched me in this area, who have snuck past that thick wall around my heart. He has also moved us into a small group of people that puts me at risk for allowing even more people past that wall. To be completely honest, I am petrified of taking that step. But I can see how God has begun to heal hurts from the past in preparation for what He is getting ready to do. Although I thought I understood real relationship, and have had glimpses of it in the past, I think the Lord is getting ready to show me by experience what that really means. And while it is a frightening prospect, it is a gift of opportunity that I am eager to grasp.
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